Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Conversion Part 2

That activity was a blast! But still I told myself that after it was over I wasn't going anymore. I started making new friends and actually started liking the single's ward very much. We've all heard the saying "The Lord does not call perfect people" right? That statement couldn't have been more true. After that activity was over I got a new calling as (drum roll please) Relief Society President! Yea I almost passed out too when I was called. I remember when I was being set apart my bishop mentioned how much I would grow to love those girls. It was one of the greatest callings of my life. I did fall in love with the girls in my ward very much. I still miss them and it's been 12 years since!

In December of 1997 my sister and I threw a party. I ended up meeting my husband at that party. He was a returned missionary and grew up in an active LDS home. We were married in May 1998 in the Oakland Temple.

I am leaving soooo much out but it would really take too long to write the entire history and since this is about my conversion I'll leave out a lot. And I'm so NOT even close to finishing this story. It gets WAY better!

We moved to Utah and (surprise) immediately started a family. That was NOT a happy time for me. I missed my family and friends so much.

The people and the ward are VERY different here in Utah. Those of us who've had the opportunity to experience the church outside of Utah are lucky! After 12 years of living here I've finally (well mostly) come to grips with the way it is here. Everyone has family around! They live near each other and hang out with each other. That's great but they forget about us lonely folks who need friends and support. I have some family here in Utah but we don't see them much at all. And so I get lonely but there was no one there for me when we first moved here. They were all with their families.

It became really difficult to go to church again. I had very little self esteem then too. I was very depressed.

Our daughter was born in Feb 1999. And our 2nd was born Oct 2000. If you don't like doing the math, I'll do it for you. I got pregnant 3 weeks after we were married. And our 2 oldest are only 20 months apart. Our son was born with Hirschsprung's disease and had his first major surgery when he was 3 days old. I took home my new baby with a colostomy bag.

Our marriage wasn't great at all at that time and I was hoping that the experience with our son would bring us closer together. I was still trying to go to church but my husband wasn't active at all. It was hard to go with 2 little kids.

Fast forward to 2003...my husband and I separate. I was homeless. I had a job but only made like $12 an hour at the time. I lived with my neighbor for about 6 weeks and then my cousin invited us to live with her. I will always be grateful to them for the help that they gave me. I don't know if I could have gotten through things without their help. I slept on a twin bed while my kids slept on the floor. It was hard.

I finally got an apartment in the fall of 2003. At this point my husband and I had talked about getting back together. It was scary and took MANY years for the scars to heal, especially with our families. We decided that we would have a "trial" weekend to see how it would work out. He packed a bad and came over to our apartment. He's been here ever since!

He still wasn't going to church though and I did my best to take my kids each week. We had a terrible bishop at the time. I'd LOVE to spill the beans about him but I won't. Let's just put it this way...MANY people celebrated when he was released. I totally stopped going all together.

I started attending MOPS (Mother's of Pre-Schoolers) at a Christian church. I never wanted them to find out I was Mormon. I would either deny it or I would be very vocal about how in active I was.

4 years after we moved into that apartment we moved to a little town called Tooele, Ut. I hated it out there. I shouldn't say that. I liked Tooele itself but there was one person who was a cancer to my soul. She was something else I tell you! I really think that the reason we moved there was so I could meet a very special friend. I love her dearly and we've been through a lot together.

I had found that I had totally lost my testimony all together. Being in MOPS and being around those amazing women made me think. I was so confused why I was being treated more Christ like by those women than I was in my OWN church. Seriously...that woman in our Tooele was CANCER to my soul. And so I started researching other churches...


Audrey said...

I'm anxiously awaiting the next part of the story.....

Amy B. said...

Thanks Tami...and I have heard many a story about you guys...hahaha

amy b.

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