Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Finale

My sister and brother in-law were missionaries for the Addiction Recovery Program. While I was up there visiting she invited me to a meeting. I didn't want to go because I wasn't an
"addict" or so I thought. I went only for them that night. I had a HUGE wake up call that night. I realized that I didn't have any control of my life. I realized that I no longer had God in my life. I didn't have The Spirit either. Honestly it was a very cool experience now that I look back. My sister, her husband and I talked a TON about the program and told me where I could go to meetings when I got home.

I started going regularly to the meetings. They are very similar to AA. There are 12 steps that you have to complete. I realized that I was not alone. I also started meeting with my Bishop.

I remember quite clearly when I had my "light bulb" moment. I was studying in my Addiction Recovery manual and in my scriptures. I read Alma 26:12. It says, "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things..." The manual has you answer questions after you read the specific scriptures. I remember it saying something like this...just as little children are NOTHING without their parents we are nothing without Heavenly Father.

It totally clicked!! I thought of my kids. When they were little they were "nothing" without us. We had to teach them, feed them, clothe them, etc. I realized that's why we are here on earth and we are "nothing". God is teaching us everyday how to be a good person and become like Christ. It's up to us to accept Him and His teachings.

I started praying regularly, reading my scriptures and meeting with the Bishop. I remember talking to a friend and he said that I needed to pray about the church and if it was true. He said that I had to have "real intent". I knew now what he meant. I now understood why I hadn't received an answer to my prayers about the church, the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith! When I had prayed before I honestly didn't have real intent on following the commandments if the answer was "yes it is true".

So as soon as I figured out that I am "nothing" without God I started praying with "real intent" and guess what happened? I received my answer! It was a miraculous change that I went through. As soon as I knew that it was true I "blossomed like a rose". I made HUGE changes. Even my bishop couldn't believe how much I had changed in just a short period of time. It was awesome! I was truly becoming happy!

I remember when I got my temple recommend back. In our church we worship in temples just like in ancient times. It is truly a happy place to be. You have to live worthy in order to attend the temple. No, you don't have to be perfect!! None of us are (even though some think they are, you know people like this I know you do!). I remember calling my sister and telling her. It was an amazing conversation we had.

My bishop had told me that the spiritual high I was on wouldn't last. I knew he was right. Life gets busy, we sin, we get lazy, we forget. He said that I had to everything to keep that high. Just like all of us I got lazy, sinned and forgot. But I never lost it.

In May of 2009 I tried out for the Jenny Phillips Choir. I made it and started performing with the most amazing people on earth! Seriously...I love these guys. We sing about "remembering" why we are here and why it's so important to remember. I am amazed at how the Lord works in our lives. When I tried out I sang a hymn about Joseph Smith. I was asked why I chose that song. I don't remember exactly what I said but I remember how I felt. It was the only choice for me at that time. My testimony of Joseph Smith was in full force! Heavenly Father knew that I needed to be reminded on a regular basis about why I'm here and that's why I'm convinced I made the choir. I've had the opportunity to travel a little bit. There is a trip coming up that I want to go on so badly! The choir is singing in Vermont and New York. I couldn't have imagined a cooler thing to do than to sing about Joseph Smith and the pioneers knowing what I know and believing what I believe in now. I made the sub list and am praying like crazy that I'll get to go! Pray for me too!

More to come...


Laura said...

I have really enjoyed reading your conversion story. It is a strength to my testimony to hear how you gained yours. I wish I would have been there to help you more when you were struggling :) I hope you get to go on the trip!

The Sutton Family said...

i have loved reading your story. sometime i'll have to tell you mine. xoxo

Aubrey Garff said...

I am super proud of you Tami! You are one of the strongest people I know. I miss seeing you everyday.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Wow! What a story! Thanks for sharing...and how cool that you are in that choir!!!

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