Monday, August 27, 2012

"Enquire"ing Minds Want to Know

So I laid in bed last night thinking about all those celebrities that have the paparazzi following their every move.  And I was so thankful I wasn't a celebrity!  I wondered what would be so scandalous in my life that it would make the front page.  I couldn't think of anything.  How boring?

Nah, I don't run around parties naked.  I don't try to buy my kids' love.  I haven't been doped up or driven drunk.  I haven't had an affair.  I haven't devised a secret plot to get rid of unwanted people in my life.  I haven't had my "bad" moments sprawled out on newspapers for the world to see.  Does a TV show count though?

Or have I?  You be the judge!

I thought of the "headlines" from my own life...

"Woman saves puppy by giving it mouth to mouth"
"Woman's craft door won't close because there are too many clothes blocking it.  She has no energy to wash them.  Family is grateful it's summer.  They won't freeze to death with every blanket in the house dirty.  Two boys are to blame"
"Mormon girl wears a sleeveless shirt"
"Mormon girl has nerve to drink caffeine"
"Neighbor spots women going on deck in undies to grab clothes off the line...caught on tape"
"Girls Gone friends stay until closing at Sweet Tomatoes.  Gossip & hilarity ensues"
"Husband and wife uproot family just because of a gossiping neighbor"
"Wife complains about living in C.H.O.S. (Can't have anyone over syndrome)"
"14 year old steals the family car"
"16 year old locks keys inside a running car in front of high school crush"
"Teen fails PE and has to take summer school classes to pass.  Lesson...don't 'cut' PE classes"
"High school senior creeped out when teacher write KIT and his phone number in her yearbook"

Oh I could go on and on.  But thank goodness I don't have to!  And thank goodness I am not a celebrity.  How embarrassing!  

What would your "headlines" be?




Gunter of the Hill People said...

"Man marries crazy woman, has 3 crazy kids...and loves it!"

Audrey Jacobsen said...

You crack me up!!

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